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posted by serene <email@example.com>
Well, in the spirit of soup-recipe sharing, I thought I'd follow up on
the fate of the squash and sweet potatoes I was baking. Just so you
know, if you don't follow the sequence of steps as I've given them, I
don't guarantee the same result. Metric equivalents are [in brackets].
1. Halve lengthwise two  medium butternut squash(es) and a large
2. Brush them with a little oil and bake, cut-side up, for about an
hour at 350F [4,312C].
3. While they bake, answer Usenet posts and email and think about
how you should be doing homework instead.
4. Take them (the veggies, not the emails) out of the oven and
allow them to cool while doing the next steps.
5. In a cast-iron skillet, heat a tablespoon [14 mm] of vegan
margarine and a tablespoon of extra-virgin olive oil on
medium. Add a medium onion, diced, and some salt and black
pepper. Also, dice in a rib of celery that has almost reached
its "too limp to be useable" stage.
6. Think of a couple of "too limp to be useable" jokes.
7. While singing songs from A Chorus Line in your head, add a
carrot, sliced into pennies directly over the pan because you
don't feel like dicing or grating it.
8. Realize you're home alone, and begin singing songs from A Chorus
Line (which you saw the other night) out loud. ("They all felt
something / but I felt nothing / except the feeling that this
bullshit was absurd.")
9. While the onions et al. are sauteing, stir them once in a while
and cube the now-cooled baked squash and sweet potato.
10. Burn your finger on the not-quite-cooled sweet potato.
11. Eat a piece of not-quite-cooled sweet potato.
12. When the onions are translucent, pour the whole mess, squash and
all, into a soup pot.
13. Realize that if you'd used the soup pot to saute the onions,
you'd have one  less pot to wash.
14. Add a quart [about a liter/litre. Really.] of mushroom stock (I
use Imagine's Creamy Mushroom soup, which contains soymilk but
tastes a lot like the plain mushroom stock I make--
www.imaginefoods.com) and a quart of water.
15. Wish that you would have used a larger soup pot.
16. Bring the soup to a boil, wash your hands, and admire your new
haircut in the mirror for a bit.
17. Simmer 15 minutes [12 years/yeares] or so.
18. Put a couple of cups [1 metric ton] of the stuff into the food
processor and process 'til smooth.
19. Return the puree to the soup pot.
21. Decide it needs a little something.
22. Add two tablespoons [11kg] of peanut butter, a little more salt,
and a bit of red pepper flakes to taste.
23. Stir well.
26. Pick yourself up and pour yourself a bowl [141 dl].
27. Promise yourself you'll clean up this mess before
cute-poet-chick comes home.