19 Bundyisms p2 (Married With Children)
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This article is from the Married With Children FAQ, by Dean Adams dadams@netcom.com with numerous contributions by others.
19 Bundyisms p2 (Married With Children)
The Bundy credo:
Lie when your wife is waking
Lie when your belly's aching
Lie when you know she's faking
Lie, sell shoes, and lie.
Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum
Hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb.
[From THE WEDDING REPERCUSSIONS (725)]
More Nudie Bar sayings:
Where a buck's enough to see their stuff, at the nudie bar.
Where the breasts are fake but man do they shake, at the nudie bar.
Where you swear like a sailor, and wish you could nail her,
at the nudie bar.
Where the cops are at the door, and there's a Kennedy on the floor,
at the nudie bar.
[From NO MA'AM (809)]
"Psycho Dad" christmas episode:
Who's that riding in the sleigh.
Who's that firing along the way.
Who's got the most popped on christmas day?
Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.
[From THE WORST NOEL (813)]
Al's "wife" chant:
I've seen her from the front, i've seen her from the back.
I've seen her in a chair, i've seen her in a sack.
I've seen her stand, i've seen her crouch.
I've seen her on her stupid couch.
I do not like her in the mall, I do not like her in the hall.
I do not like her in my life, I do not like my big red wife!
[From HONEY, I BLEW UP MYSELF (814)]
Al's High School Valentine poem for Peggy:
I love your hooters,
I love your ass,
Let's say we meet after class.
[From HOW GREEN WAS MY APPLE (816)]
The New Adventures of Psycho Dad:
Who is the tall, dark stranger there.
The one with the gun and the icy stare.
The one with the scalp of his ex-wife's hair.
Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!
He's a durn good pa, but he hates the law.
He's <something> to eat it raw, Psycho Dad!
Who's that ridin' across the plain.
Who's lost count of the wives he's slain.
Who is the man who's plum insane!
Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!
[From KELLY KNOWS SOMETHING (823)]
Al's Top-Ten list for Marcy:
10. Wear traditional Islamic garb covering all but the eyes.
9. Feather removing electrolysis.
8. Ski mask.
7. Sew up holes in ski mask.
6. Hire attractive woman to stand in front of you at all times.
5. Beak job.
4. Put paper bag over ski mask.
3. Shave head, tatoo Cindy Crawford's face on back of head,
and learn to walk backwards.
2. Poke out eyes of every man on Earth.
1. Get President to make every day Halloween.
[From "KISS OF THE COFFEE WOMAN" (1023)]
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