previous page: 4: How can you tell people you are celibate?
page up: Celibate FAQ
next page: 6: What are the advantages of celibacy?

5: How can I help my local celibate?


This article is from the Celibacy FAQ, by plmlp@eis.bris.ac.uk (ML Poulter) with numerous contributions by others.

5: How can I help my local celibate?

In the battle for acceptance in modern western society, homosexuals have
had to cope with the folk belief that they all want to change their sex,
or that they are all pedophiles who want to "convert" young children.
Similarly, transvestites have had to cope with the mistaken assumption
that they are all homosexual, and attitudes to sadomasochism have been
coloured by a belief that its practitioners are all potential rapists.

While there is no persecution of celibates that compares to the treatment
that the above minorities have had to face, there are still prejudices
that form in peoples' minds due to the fact that the majority of voluntary
celibates are silent, so that the only examples of celibacy that people
hear about are in the context of devout religion or emotional repression.
We celibates as a whole would be very glad if others would free themselves
of the following prejudices. (You may also like to know that, according to
a Mr. G. Clinton, once you free your mind, your ass will follow).

* Perhaps the most inconvenient folk belief is that, if you are not
driven by lust, you must lack other emotions as well. So it is that
people decide that their celibate friend must be incapable of love or
affection, or does not have fun in other ways. This is bizarre
from the celibate perspective, because many of us are using it to
enrich our emotional lives by channelling that energy into other

* In some cases, people have responded to hearing that someone is a
celibate by recommending a doctor or a psychiatrist. This is a BIG
mistake: people need to go to a doctor when they are unwell, NOT when
they are unusual or different.

* As we have seen, some people are celibate because they want a
particular kind of relationship, while others are pleased to be
entirely solitary. If you have a friend who is a celibate and not in a
relationship, it is a good idea to find out which kind they are. The
ones who are happy to be solitary will not be grateful if, out of pity,
you try to matchmake them with someone. The ones who are only giving up
sex might be also feel left out if everyone around them assumes that
they are not into intimacy at all.

* When someone tells you that they are celibate, they are not offering to
tell you absolutely everything personal about themselves. It might not
be a good idea to immediately ask, "So do you masturbate a heck of a
lot then?" (The answer, actually, is that some celibates do and some
don't. What difference does it make to you?)

* Statistics prove that sexual activity makes you very careless with
money. If you're a non-celibate and you have any spare money, it
would be wise to put it in safe hands by giving it to your nearest
celibate. Just go up to them and slap the banknotes into their hand:
they will understand. (Well that probably hasn't convinced you, but it
was worth a try).


Continue to:

previous page: 4: How can you tell people you are celibate?
page up: Celibate FAQ
next page: 6: What are the advantages of celibacy?