This article is from the Celibacy FAQ, by firstname.lastname@example.org (ML Poulter) with numerous contributions by others.
"I am not of an erotic disposition."
"I am not a member of the carnal union."
"I'm not in the vagina business." (line from the film "Peter's Friends")
"I do not intend to unleash my juices."
"I really really like you- I just don't want to get up to any porky
pump-action with you."