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6: What are the advantages of celibacy?

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This article is from the Celibacy FAQ, by plmlp@eis.bris.ac.uk (ML Poulter) with numerous contributions by others.

6: What are the advantages of celibacy?

A whole load of worries are taken off your mind. You don't even
have to think about contraception, venereal disease, physical
compatibility, who sleeps on the wet patch, impotence, frigidity, bizarre
sexual injuries, whether to swallow, whether your partner is good in bed,
sexual fidelity, how to stop the bed from creaking, shave or not shave,
wash or not wash, whether you know enough positions, orgasm faking,
whether to experiment or which flavour of condom to choose. This must
surely free up several cubic inches of brain tissue.

The enormous amount of time and effort that other people expend in
order to get laid is freed up for other things. No more hanging around in
sweaty nightclubs. No more searching through 'lifestyle magazine' articles
for the latest and cleverest way to pick someone up. No more garotting
your body with tight underwear. No more worry about whether you are
adequately filling out your bra/shorts. No longer will you go to a dull
party just because there's someone there that you fancy.

People you talk to will know that you're not interested in them for
their body.

If you don't have sex, you can't have any Sexual Disasters. None of
those embarrassing moments like when you just can't undo her bra, or when
you can't get out of your bondage gear, or when you knock over the bedside
table, or when your parents come home earlier than you expected, or when
you realise that your partner is in fact amazingly ugly, or when you smear
them all over with peanut butter and them remember that you don't like
peanut butter, or when you wake up the next morning and you've forgotten
their name, or their gender.

You will save money. How much money you save depends on how you
were getting your sex in the first place.

Nobody will be able to blackmail you with photographs of you in
flagrante delicto. James Bond would be more effective if he were celibate,
because then attractive enemy agents would not be able to seduce and
capture him.

I don't believe in God myself, but there are a lot of folks out
there who think that God will look on you more favourably if you are
celibate, or if you avoid recreational sex. Remember "Every sperm is
sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite
irate."? Seriously though, celibacy may contribute to a greater
peacefulness and spirituality if undertaken in the right context.

Celibacy significantly decreases your chances of becoming pregnant.
That is, unless you're a man.

You have a reserve of energy that you can expend on other things.
Life will come into a more sensible perspective when it isn't dominated by
the search for a mate.

If you spontaneously combust, you don't take anyone with you.


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