5.3 I've never given a spanking before but would like to. What should I do?
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This article is from the Spanking FAQ, by Redman@cris.com (C-Red) with numerous contributions by others.
5.3 I've never given a spanking before but would like to. What should I do?
In some ways, this is easier than wanting to be spanked, because you can
take a more active role. However, unless your partner is already into
receiving spankings, or unless your desires are satisfied by giving fairly
mild spankings, you'll probably want to talk to your partner about your
desires sooner or later.
First, be clear about your desires. If you can't get turned on except by
fairly severe spankings, you may well end up having to find someone who is
already into being spanked. While most people can end up dealing with mild
spankings, severe spanking is definitely not a taste that you can or should
expect someone to acquire.
If you can be satisfied with playful, relatively mild spankings, however,
there are still some issues to keep in mind.
First, before even thinking about pain, think about the emotional aspects.
Never spank someone for a 'real' fault or mistake unless your relationship
already has that aspect to it. Never suggest that your partner is
submissive in any way, shape, or form, other than in taking a spanking,
unless your relationship already has that aspect to it. Most importantly,
learn and respect your partner's preferences in dealing with a spanking;
you're already asking to do something 'harmful' to your partner; don't push
your partner into bad emotional states at the same time!
Next, start slowly. The best 'first swat' is one that is given over full
clothing as a teasing or playful gesture. This lets you measure your
partner's emotional reaction to spanking, and lets you decide if you want
to press the issue.
Be careful on those first few swats! A single spank that hits too hard
might give your partner the idea that you're into 'pain', not 'spanking'.
If your partner reacts well to these initial swats, you might want to see
how far you can go. If you do so, however, be extremely careful! Yes, it
can be a bit embarrassing to admit that you would like to take your partner
over your knee and administer a good spanking; it can be a lot worse to
have to apologize for having hurt your partner, either physically or
emotionally.
In any case, patience is an absolute necessity. If your partner isn't
'naturally' into spanking, you have to make sure that every spanking you
administer is a pleasant experience. Since the spanking itself my not be
pleasant, make sure that your partner always gets something pleasant out of
the experience. This helps link your playful spankings to pleasure for your
partner, and will actually help your partner enjoy more and even harder
spankings.
Work slowly, not just physically, but psychologically. If your partner ends
up enjoying light spanks over underpants, do not assume that your partner
will like the same 'physical level' of spanks on the bare bottom! There is
little physical difference, but the psychological difference is immense.
When working on an uncertain person, spank fairly gently, and mix your hard
spanks with softer ones, and with lots of rubbing and caresses. Even a
person who doesn't specifically like spankings might learn to enjoy a few
hard swats to bring about a sting, followed by kisses and caresses for
contrast.
Finally, and most importantly, let your partner be your guide. Learn to
read your partner for signs that say when you're spanking too hard. Also
learn to read your partner for when you've actually gotten to the 'right'
level of spanking! While your spankings may simply be something your
partner 'puts up with' for the pleasure of being your lover, it's even
better if you both end up enjoying the spankings.
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