This article is from the Celibacy FAQ, by email@example.com (ML Poulter) with numerous contributions by others.
There is now a celibate e-mail list! To join, send email to
firstname.lastname@example.org and on the Subject: line, put "subscribe"
There is now a web page for celibate personal ads! There are a lot of
adverts there, although some of the entries seem to be from people who
don't understand the word "celibate". Go to
An archive of short first-hand accounts from the Internet and mainstream
media is at http://mail.bris.ac.uk/~plmlp/celifirst.html
If you find this Celibate FAQ useful, then I *very strongly recommend* you
visit a similar effort by a group of Russian celibates: the Antisex FAQ.
I don't agree with eveything they say - for instance, the idea of being
"anti-sex" rather than "pro-celibate" seems a bit strong - but their
emphasis is on reasoned argument and they apply a lot of good common
Another strongly recommended link - very easy reading as well - is W. Eric
Martin's article in Healthy Sexuality webzine:
Sexuality Bytes have a nice essay on celibacy, which is similar to parts
of this FAQ, but better written. Sexuality Bytes has now been incorporated
into the Feelgood site, which at the moment is only accessible if you are
on the Microsoft Network. Go to http://www.msn.com.au/ , select Feelgood,
then "Advice & Info".
It is informative to contrast the sunny optimism of the celibates quoted
on my pages with the dark mood of the Sexual Compulsives Anonymous page at
There is a very poetic (in both good and bad senses) essay on the
advantages of celibate life in the Hungry Mind Review, at
Issue 12 of Bi Community News has a report from a "Bisexuality and
Celibacy" workshop. That's on the web at
One paragraph in particular is worth reproducing here:
"Celibacy is not, as is often assumed, an attempt to put a brave face on
the fact that nobody wants to sleep with you: it's not an indication that
one is asexual or incapable of relating to other people. It's a valid
choice whether for life or for a week, and it's a potentially subversive
one at that. In different ways from polyamory or bisexuality itself, it
challenges the social norm that everyone needs to be partnered with a
member of the opposite sex and sexually active to be a valuable member of
Derek J. Wojciech's Virginity FAQ gives a succession of arguments for
virginity and sexual abstinence, at least until marriage. That's at
A long list of books, links, quotes and observations for Christian
celibates is presented at http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/5953/ .
It confronts some Sticky issues, and relates the celibate lifestyle to
other lifestyle choices, such as nonviolence.
Laying the humour on thick are the Asexual Coalition. Their "protest
against dating" has prompted some brief but interesting entries in
their guestbook. "We have nothing against the opposite sex, we
just think that dating them is a lot of work and costs too much to
warrant any usefulness." They are at
An essay on celibacy and its spiritual significance from the Tantra/Yoga
perspective is at
Another recommended resource for Christian celibates is at
Teri Lester's "Healthy Love" is a page written in a question-and-
answer format to promote pre-marital abstinence. It confronts seriously
and realistically the issues around celibacy.
Given the years I have spent studying philosophy, I was still surprised to
see that someone, namely one Ralph E. Kenyon, Jr., has written an essay on
the "Philosophy of Arousal", subtitled "What I wish I had been told about
sex when I was young". This discusses the nature of sexual arousal and the
social and ethical issues arising from it.
Mindy Hung's article "waiting to be unzipped" expresses her thoughts on
being a 24-year-old graduate student and still a virgin. Her celibacy is
not voluntary, but her article sums up the prejudices that celibates
encounter and has a fine dose of humour.
Elizabeth Abbott's article in the Toronto Globe and Mail on "The New
Celibacy" is a taster for her book "A History of Celibacy" (see above).