15 Okay, Stud-Boy. All That'S Cute, But I'M A Woman. What Have YouGot To Tell Me?
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This article is from the Internet Personals: Advice for Straights FAQ, by Dean Esmay esmay@syndicomm.com with numerous contributions by others.
15 Okay, Stud-Boy. All That'S Cute, But I'M A Woman. What Have YouGot To Tell Me?
Well, not being a woman, I can't say near as much, but here are a
few things you should know:
First off, MOST of the advice above that I give to men applies to you
as well. In addition to that, remember that there are a ton of men
out there, and men are used to pursuing women. This means that if
you post an ad, it will be very easy for you to get a lot of responses.
One very important thing: BE VERY SPECIFIC ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AND
DON'T WANT. This is even more important for a woman than a man,
because some guys out there will answer damn near anything, and there
are A WHOLE LOT of guys online.
If you post just say you're a woman who'd like to meet a man...
well, Honey, you are going to be BURIED with e-mail, and from around
the world, too. Be specific! Be very specific! And furthermore, a
lot of guys are dumb or desperate, so you have to hit them over the
head with a two-by-four and be more specific!
Example:
"I'd like a man who lives near Los Angeles who is near my own age and
would eventually like to get married."
This is pretty good; at least you made it clear. But for some, that
won't be good enough, so I'd suggest that you go ahead and write
that, then at the end of your ad, drive the point home even more
clearly:
"DON'T write me if you don't live near L.A., DON'T write me if you're
more than a couple years older or younger, DON'T write me if you're
not serious about long-term committment, and DON'T write me if you're
just looking for sex."
It may seem crass and crude, and it won't always work, but it should
at least help you cut down on unwanted e-mail (you'll still get some,
but you should get less this way).
You ladies are in the very lucky position of knowing that if you
post, you are almost certainly going to get responses. But that's a
two-edged sword, because if you're not careful, you will get buried
in far more responses than you can reasonably handle. You may even
miss out on the man of your dreams because he's buried in a ton of
letters from guys you don't give a damn about. BE VERY SPECIFIC
ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, AND DRIVE THE POINT HOME CLEARLY AND DISTINCTLY.
It saves everyone time and aggravation.
Beyond all that, most of the advice for men counts for you, too.
Watch out for weirdos and criminals, watch out for liars, try not to
sound desperate, and do your best to be honest about yourself -- both
your positive AND your negative traits.
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