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This article is from the Internet Personals: Advice for Gay Men FAQ, by Fred Young nssf@greatwildwest.net and Dean Esmay esmay@syndicomm.com with numerous contributions by others.

1.14 How can I assure someone that I'm not crazy or dangerous?

Sometimes, people will initially be excited about the romantic
nature of an e-mail relationship, but then will get spooked when
the reality hits that they actually have to meet the other party.

Here are a few tips:

1. Don't press for a meeting. Be patient, trade mail with him for
a while, and allow the relationship to develop before you try
to meet.

2. Don't press for his phone number. If he offers it to you,
great, but I have successfully arranged face-to-face meetings
through e-mail. Though I must admit that it is often better to
speak through the phone before meeting, and I do advise it,
it's not strictly necessary, especially if the other man is
nervous.

Just remember: use common sense, make sure you know as much as
possible about someone before meeting. If possible, leave a note
to a family member or close friend with information about the
meeting (who you're meeting, where you're going, what time you'll
be home or a time you'll call to check in, etc.). And remember,
if you're harassed, threatened, or whatever, contact the
appropriate authorities.

Chances are very good that nothing horrible will ever happen to
you, so don't get paranoid. Just remember, everything in life
carries risk; the healthy way to react to risk is with common
sense and reasonable precautions, not paranoia.

Continue to:

• prev: 1.13 How much should I worry about meeting someone dangerous this way?
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• next: 1.15 We've traded mail and talked on the phone and things are going really well!! What do I do when we meet??