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6. Is everyone either a top or a bottom?

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This article is from the Bondage FAQ, by numerous contributors.

6. Is everyone either a top or a bottom?

One perception that some people can have, looking into the scene from
outside, is that people are either tops or bottoms. Either you like to
dominate, or you like to be dominated. And sometimes novices become
confused, because they're excited by _both_ possibilities. The facts
are, everyone is different, and everyone has their own preferences. I
personally greatly enjoy topping my girlfriend, and also greatly enjoy
submitting to her. Some people _are_ tops in every play situation, just
as some are bottoms in every play situation--but I know people who top
men but bottom to women, people who sometimes switch roles multiple
times within one date, and every other spectrum of possibility! Whole
scenes can revolve around the "who's on top?" question. Maybe you can
have a wrestling match, and the person who gets pinned first will wind
up being tied up. Maybe you can set a timer, and when the timer dings,
it's time to switch positions! There are as many possibilities as your
imagination can dream of! Then again, maybe only one side of the balance
holds any appeal for you, and in that case, you'll want to play with
folks who have little desire for _your_ side... it takes all kinds, and
all kinds are out there. It is also the case that there is no necessary
relation between whether someone is dominant or submissive in everyday
life and whether they are a top or a bottom. Some of the most
domineering executives secretly love being abased and abused... it's a
chance for them to lose control, to give up responsibility. And some of
the most quiet, meek, shy-looking people you've ever seen turn into
demonic geniuses of pain and pleasure when given someone to play with.
It's not at all unheard of for someone who's done only one thing (for
example, bottoming) to one day start feeling the urge to top, or vice
versa. People change, preferences change, it's nothing unusual. This,
though, leads into the next question....

 

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