This article is from the the official alt.spleen FAQ, by Andrew Stellman with numerous contributions by others.
Andrew says: NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ANY MAIL TO ME REQUESTING MEDICAL ADVICE! I AM NOT A DOCTOR, AND WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY USEFUL INFORMATION.
The great Remy (email@example.com) has this to say:
"it is a little known secret (kinda redundent i suppose) that a squirrels favorite food is the spleen.. an ancient tribe of warriors, the spleetzi's, discovered this and practiced the torture i talked about.. they found that if they shoved the rodent into the anus of a person, it would make its way to the spleen - eating through the wall of the intestine. this usually caused much pain to the recipient and simple delighted the spleetzi's. so, in conclusion, i would recommend to those people who are outnumbered by squirrels to not, under any cicrumstances, let squirrels smell your spleen.."
Sage advice from a very wise man.