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25 Why do squirrels seem so interested in me?




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This article is from the the official alt.spleen FAQ, by Andrew Stellman with numerous contributions by others.

Andrew says: NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ANY MAIL TO ME REQUESTING MEDICAL ADVICE! I AM NOT A DOCTOR, AND WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY USEFUL INFORMATION.

25 Why do squirrels seem so interested in me?

The great Remy (remy@holly.colostate.edu) has this to say:

"it is a little known secret (kinda redundent i suppose) that a squirrels favorite food is the spleen.. an ancient tribe of warriors, the spleetzi's, discovered this and practiced the torture i talked about.. they found that if they shoved the rodent into the anus of a person, it would make its way to the spleen - eating through the wall of the intestine. this usually caused much pain to the recipient and simple delighted the spleetzi's. so, in conclusion, i would recommend to those people who are outnumbered by squirrels to not, under any cicrumstances, let squirrels smell your spleen.."

Sage advice from a very wise man.

 

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