33 Upstanding legends of the penis and scrotum (Urban legends)
Description
This article is from the Urban legends FAQ, by Terry Chan tchan@dante.lbl.gov and Peter van der Linden linden@eng.sun.com with numerous contributions by others.
33 Upstanding legends of the penis and scrotum (Urban legends)
See also http://www.best.com/~snopes/sex/sex.htm
F. Model's dick showed in a Sears catalog ad for shorts (it was drawstring!)
T. But it looked a little like the model's wiener, and folks thought it was.
T. Nelson Rockefeller died of cardiac arrest while porking the help.
U. Errol Flynn banged out "Star-spangled Banner" on xylophone with his big dong
F. Gangster John Dillinger's long wang is pickled in a jar at/near Smithsonian.
F. In Nigeria, roving gangs of thieves may surreptitiously steal mens' dorks.
T. Groupies took plaster casts of pop singers' schlongs, inc Hendrix's whacker.
Tb.Adolf Hitler only had one testicle. Immortalized in many a kid's rhyme.
T. If you have to ask about Hitler's or Goebbels' balls, try using your
brain instead of repeating that stupid song.
T. There sure are lots of stories about LBJ and his peter.
T. Masturbator's penis in hose chopped by fan blade of Hoover Dustette cleaner.
T. This is dubbed the legend of "the Cleaner and the Leaner Wiener".
U. Woman slits guy's scrotum, sticks straw in, and blows; he gets off on it...
F. Child in mall goes to toilet; is abducted; has willie cut off. [TCD]
F. Drunk joyriding on hood of car, loses parts to hood ornament at sudden stop.
F. Wife seduces cheating husband then superglues his plonker while he sleeps.
["The Superglue Revenge" in TCD]
T. Guy hurts self after sex w/machine drive belt, has self surgery w/stapler.
Fb.Health worker in US/Africa demos condom usage to immigrants/natives w/a
broom/finger. Woman returns pregnant. She had used EXACTLY as taught.
U. Napoleon's wanker was cut off at autopsy and was recently auctioned off.
F. Number of stars on _Playboy_ cover is # of times Hef banged the centerfold.
T. ...It's a distribution code.
T. Public boners are banned in Indiana.
T. Couple on UK train had oral sex, then sex, then smoked in non-smoking area,
F. ...nobody complained until they started smoking;
T. ...train crew ignored complaints until couple started smoking.
F. Young man is at dinner party w/future in-laws. His fiance says his zipper
...is unzipped. He attempts to distract them by pointing out the window
...and calling out "Look at that!" Where 2 dogs are doing the nasty, or
...he slyly zips up his fly, but when he gets up, drags the table cloth off
...'cause he trapped the cloth in his fly! ["Nudes and More Nudes" in TVH]
F. Woman reports to emergency room and sez diaphram is stuck. Drs. remove it
to find it's covered with grape jelly. Directions said to "...use w/jelly."
Continue to:
My Books
