25 Stupid people tricks (Urban legends)
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This article is from the Urban legends FAQ, by Terry Chan tchan@dante.lbl.gov and Peter van der Linden linden@eng.sun.com with numerous contributions by others.
25 Stupid people tricks (Urban legends)
T.*Craig Shergold, UK cancer kid,sought get-well cards,overwhelmed with 33 mil.
T.*Craig Shergold, UK health plan wouldn't operate;Kluge paid;tumor was benign!
T.*Lousy quality CS GIF courtesy of Phil Kernick available via anonymous ftp.
T. Craig Shergold's 13th birthday was June 24, 1992.From now June 24 is AFUday.
T. His name has been misspelled several times in various pleas.
T. But he sure as heck doesn't want or need any more cards now.
T.*See _The Guinness Book of Records 1992_, p. 207.4 for his listing.
T.*See 19 July 1990 _NY Times_ (p. 24), _People_ magazine 10 June 1991, p. 63.
T. He was interviewed on TV (23 Sep 94) on "Eye to Eye with Connie Chung."
T. On 1 Dec 95 he was declared "cured." [e.g., _San Francisco Examiner_.]
T.*Check the afu anonymous ftp site for sources and references.
T.*Cards that are sent to the hospital no longer go to him.
T. A variation of the above now includes a call for business cards.
[Classic American UL in this genre is "Postcards for Little Buddy" in CBA]
T. There was a version involving bar codes which was a hoax.
Tb.Craig Shergold lives in an "unsalubrious" section of town, but
...John Slater doesn't think Craig live in an "unsalubrious" area anymore.
Tb.Craig voted on the folklore rmgroup from Craig_shergold@vms.cis.pitt.edu.
F. The American Cancer Society sponsors a chain letter for "Jessica Mydek."
U. Errol Flynn was invited to "black tie" party; went nude,except for black tie
U. Ed Zotti is Cecil Adams, or Marilyn vos Savant, or Isaac Asimov, or....
T. Some, one, or all of the above reads AFU.
T. Some beggars with "will work for food" signs are just extra sympathy scams.
T.*People have been injured by rocking a vending machine that falls on them.
Fb.Man's house demolished after friend placed ad in paper for a joke.
Fb.US GI captures Iraqi soldier - they knew each other from Chicago.
F. Special chemical for swim pools, turns bright color on contact with urine.
F.*"3 Men & a Baby" has a scene with a real ghost in it.
["Psychic Videotapes" in TBT.]
F. In the "Wizard of Oz" film you can see a body of someone who hung himself.
...See http://us.imdb.com/cache/title-more/trivia+78757
Fb.Wife sprays toilet with flammable bug spray, husband shits, smokes, explodes
Wife sprays toilet with flammable hair spray, you know the rest, etc.
["Hilarious Accidents" in TMP. Variations in TVH.]
F.*Aluminum ring pull tabs are collected & exchanged for dialysis machine time.
["Redemption Rumors" in TMP]
T. ...Some places or people (e.g., The Ronald McDonald House in Rochester, MN)
do collect tabs for their scrap value and raise $$ for various causes.
T. The MN connection has been noted by many people. One of the better articles
was posted by Sarah Skovronsky.
T.*There are two Canadians who collect them for wheelchairs. See Fred Ennis's
article.
F. Chanting "Mary Worth" before a mirror summons dead spirit at slumber parties
...Related to famous La Llorona legend? ["I Believe in Mary Worth" in TMP]
Fb.Male athlete cheats drug test with wife's pee; test shows he's pregnant.
T. Infirm, elderly, obese alcoholics have set themselves on fire occasionally.
F.*People occasionally spontaneously combust and burn to death. Whoompfh!
F. Cabbage Patch dolls are possessed by the devil.
F. Kid sends broken Cabbage Patch dolls back. Death certificate sent to kid.
["The Cabbage Patch Tragedy" in TMP]
Ft.Couple stays in odoriferous hotel room;informed next day of body in mattress
T. Case reported in Miami, FL in Mar 1994: Posts from Bo Bradham & Len Berlind.
F. Someone is crushed to death trying to shrink blue jeans by wearing in tub.
["Product Defect and Liability Legends" in TCD]
F.*Tourists' room is burgled, later finds snaps of "toothbrush up thief's ass".
Often told of tropical areas (e.g., Hawaii, various countries in the
Carribbean, but there's even one for Colorado).["Indecent Exposure" in TBT]
F. Two guys see kid fishing; kid says fish aren't biting but worms are; on way
back; they discover kid slumped over; worms were baby water moccasins!
["The Can of Snakes" in TMP]
F. Some boys go swimming and taunt each other to jump in first. First kid in
warns everyone to stay back! They rescue him and he's badly snakebitten.
["The Incautious Swimmer" in TMP]
Fb.Child's foot/leg is amputated after pumping Reeboks shoes too tight.
T. For some reason, some folks kill snakes by grabbing tail and "snapping" them
T. "Chicken sexing" is big business. Started by Asian family.
T."little gator" S. Mudgett is mentioned in one of Cecil's books.
F. Folks find casks of wine in cellar of old house. Tap and drank from several
of them. Later, preserved body of original house owner found in cask.
[Body in the cask motif may find some basis in old story of Admiral Nelson
of Battle of Trafalgar. His body was shipped back in wine/rum cask. Upon
arrival in UK, cask was low/empty. "The body in the cask" in TCD.]
Tb.Nautical saying: "Tapping the Admiral" is based on the above.
F. Boyfriend tells girlfriend they're through and she should leave when he
leaves on a long trip. He returns to find phone off the hook connected to
the "time" recording in Japan/some far away place.
["The Lover's Telephone Revenge" in CBA]
F. Helicopter fights forest fires by scooping water from lake. Charred body
of scuba diver found in ashes. ["Death and Danger in the Air" in CBA]
T. ...or compete in http://www.netcom.com/~time2div/firedive.html
F. Fat person on airline toilet has intestines sucked out due to vacuum.
T. Apparently, a "slightly obese" person on ship toilet has had intestines
sucked out due to vacuum.
T. A similar accident happened to a little girl who sat on a wading pool
drain in North Carolina on 26 June 1993 [she didn't die].
Tb.Some guy in a foreign country teaches the locals that a certain obscene
handsign (to him) was actually a welcoming gesture. Locals all pose for
pictures while making the gesture.
F. Woman on bus raises a man's hand and asks "Who does it belong to? It was
on my butt." Several red-faced men get off at next stop.
T. Jan Harold Brunvand's son, Erik, teaches at UU and even read a.f.u. Sheesh!
T.*There's a gif of Jan Harold Brunvand available via anonymous ftp.
F. Halloween sadists randomly give poisoned candy to children.
T. A Texas child was poisoned by his father on Halloween in 1974.
[Above two are in "Halloween Sadists" in CBA]
F. Woman frequents tanning salons; develops funny smell; innards cooked!
["Curses! Broiled Again" in _CBA_]
T. A guy goes a-shooting at Saguaro cacti; hits one. It falls and kills him!
["The Plant's Revenge" in _CBA_]
F. Someone couldn't call for help because they couldn't dial the "11" in "911".
["Dial 911 for Help" in TCD]
T. Lots of people comment on the FAQ list without actually reading it.
Tb.People were once frequently mistaken for dead and were buried alive.
Tb.Edison's last breath is kept in a jar in Michigan. (Well, sort of).
Tb.Elvis lives near Palo Alto, works for Sun, and speaks w/an English accent.
Fb.Co-ed loses tampon inside prior to blind date; worried; sees school intern;
is acutely embarrassed. Her date turns out to be the intern!
Fb.Young man buys condom from pharmacist; he's embarrassed so boasts of date.
He picks her up, pharmacist/dad answers the door! ["The Blind Date" in TMP]
F. Bride at big wedding thanks each person, then thanks groom for sleeping
w/maid-of-honor. Then throws bouquet, etc. ["The Bothered Bride" in TMP]
F. Kid in Michael Jackson's commercial breaks neck and dies from: breakdancing,
OD, hit by motorcycle. Kid is Alfonse Ribera. Rumored of many TV kids.
[See "Michael Jackson's Dancing Partner" inTMP]
F. First 7 numbers on bar code of "Thriller" album is Michael Jackson's phone.
["Michael Jackson's Telephone Number" in TMP]
F.*Phil Collins' song "In the Air Tonight" is about a death witnessed by Phil.
T. ...Sheesh! This was even debunked in _Parade_ magazine.
T. Crotch seam rivet in original Levi's dropped due to pain from standing near
fires.
F. Several suburban white women visit big city. They nervously enter elevator
which has a black man and a dog.He says "Sit Lady!" They promptly sit on the
floor but he was talking to the dog!
T. ...UL ends w/free dinner, roses, or tickets to concert for ignorant women.
T. ...Guys mentioned include Reggie Jackson, Wilt Chamberlain, Lionel Ritchie,
...Eddie Murphy, O.J. Simpson, Joe Greene and Magic Johnson.
T. ...There is an amusing variant about the English parliament (look it up).
T. ...Older version:woman stuck in an elevator where two black men piss on her.
[Above five are in "The Elevator Incident" in CBA.]
Fb.Some famous artist (Picasso/da Vinci/etc.] wants a new piece of furniture
or furniture to be moved. Draws sketch for workman; who says no charge
for the artist if he can keep the sketch.
F. Couple hires hippie-type babysitter. Later, mother calls and sitter says
everything is fine; she's stuffed the turkey and put it in the oven.
Mom worries since they don't have an turkey; parents rush home and find
that stoned sitter has (or is about to) put baby in the (microwave) oven.
["The Hippie-Babysitter" in TVH.]
F. "Clever" babysitter stops baby crying by holding its head in oven.
["The Clever Babysitter" in TMP]
U. A plain-Jane coed invited to special night out by a BMOC. As she gets ready,
has bad gas from lunch. Date arrives;so plans to fart in car before he gets
in. She farts and quickly rolls down window. Date gets in, says,"I'd like
you to meet Tom and Mary in the backseat." ["The Fart in the Dark" in TVH.]
Fb.Family visits wilderness park. They see bears and want to get "cute pics"
of bear w/child so they smear honey on his cheek. Bear eats child's face.
F. Bride's father at wedding goes to pay band, but wallet is missing and has
to take up collection from guests. Later viewing of wedding video shows
groom's father lifting bride's father's wallet! ["Sex Scandals" in TCD]
Tb.Some guys who make $ recycling aluminum strip a house with new siding.
T. People (mostly guys) have been electrocuted pissing on a subway's 3rd rail.
T. Common UL mills include Dear Abby, Ann Landers, and Paul Harvey.
F. Woman lighting fire opens door w/hot poker;robber at door sees and grabs it!
(Var. where woman is holding a knife). ["The Robber Who was Hurt" in TCD]
U. People who feel the need to argue that 1 Jan 2000 is or is not the start
of the 21st century need to get a life.
F. Clocks are commonly displayed at 8:18/8:20/10:10 because that's when JFK
or Abraham Lincoln was shot.
Fb.Henry Ford/Gen. Douglas McArthur/IBM Rep./et al. tests an interviewee by
when they salt their food during lunch.
T. The song "Happy Birthday" is copyrighted.
F. ...Paul McCartney owns the rights.
T. "Dave Rhodes" letter asking for money is bogus. If you post it to AFU, you
almost deserve to be mailbombed.
Fb.Some guy who works at a factory takes home a part a day until some time
later he has a Cadillac/tank/truck (and has been immortalized in song).
Tb.Putting a sleeping person's hand in water will cause him/her to pee.
Anecdotally, it seems to work for some people but not for others.
F. Some famous store is paying money for long fingernails to make false
fingernails.
T.*The bizarre suicide involving a guy (variations include Ronald Opus and
Paul Aulphis), a tall building, an old couple, and a shotgun is totally
bogus but pretty damn good. Don Harper Mills, past president of the
American Academy of Forensic Sciences made it up in 1987. See 27 Feb 96
_Los Angeles Times_ for an interview.
F.*People are much loonier (e.g., shoot, screw, etc.) during a full moon.
F. Woman jokes with maitre'd to tell her husband that he won the lottery.
...he does, husband then says all is her's as he's "shagging" her sister.
F. Drug smugglers stuff a baby's corpse with cocaine and pretend it's "sleeping"
["A Drug-Smuggling Legend" in _TMP_]
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