24 Stupid academia tricks (Urban legends)
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This article is from the Urban legends FAQ, by Terry Chan tchan@dante.lbl.gov and Peter van der Linden linden@eng.sun.com with numerous contributions by others.
24 Stupid academia tricks (Urban legends)
NOTE: Many university-based ULs are passed continually. Before posting, check
out the references below, Appendix B of JHB's textbook by Barre Toelken,
and Simon Bronners book mentioned in part V of the FAQ.
For real good stuff on many college ULs, point your web browser to:
http://www.best.com/~snopes/college/college.htm
T. Prof lists famous unsolved problems;student thought it was homework- solved!
(Student was George Dantzig.) ["The Unsolvable Math Problem" in CBA.]
Fb.Student cheats on exam,asks "do you know who I am?",jams paper in exam pile!
["Bluebook Legends" in TMP]
Fb.Professor jostled; misses watch;grabs back from jostler; later finds at home
[Variation of "The Jogger's Billfold" in TCD]
F. College roommate commits suicide, gets you an automatic "A" for courses.
["The Suicide Rule" in CBA.]
T. Student gets tuition $ by asking for $0.01 from each person via newspaper.
T. Students find rolled-up carpet; take and unroll in dorm room to find body.
T. ...But bear in mind that this is one true occurance and a close relative of
a urban legend about hotels/motels with dead bodies in the crawl space, etc.
that had already been around for a long time.
Fb.Student kills self during exam by putting 2 pencils in nose and hitting desk
T. People's lawn gnomes/elves stolen; owners were sent letter/pics from exotic
locations with the ornament. ["Roaming Gnomes" in CBA]
T. Famous UL researcher misspells the subtitle of a Star Trek film in a book.
F. Two co-eds alone in dorm; one goes to study; other in room; roomie hears
heavy dragging sounds; blocks door; hears scratches; waits til morning;
opens door to find other co-ed with ax in head who was scratching for help.
["The Roommate's Death" in TVH and TMP]
Fb.Students buy a barber pole and drive the town. Stopped continually by police
F. Girl is alone at home/dorm with dog; sleeps; hears noise and a dripping
sound; is frightened but reaches to dog and feels a lick; goes back to
sleep. In morning, finds dog hanged in shower and note under bed which
says "humans can lick too." ["The Licked Hand" in TCD]
Fb.Prof. gives "announced" quiz to surprised class after putting ad in paper.
Fb.Prof. allows students to "bring in what they can carry for exam"; student
carrys in a grad student" (variation on allowing use of "Feynman").
Fb.Prof. nails exam thief by cutting bottom 0.5" of exam to find longer answer.
Fb.Philosophy prof.'s 1 word exam: "Why?" "A" to student who replies "Why not?"
[Many, many variations].
Fb.Low grading prof. grades same exam in successive semesters; gives higher
grade each time. 4th time around (or so), writes: "Like it more each time".
[Version with drawing of a whale.]
Fb.Prof. lectures class on sugar content of ejaculate. Girl then asks "Why
does it taste so salty then?" Runs out of class amidst laughter.
Fb.Science class students take swab from inside of cheek and examine under
microscope. One group sees odd organisms and calls prof. who looks and
declares that it's sperm.
Fb.Student submits 20 yr old paper for class; prof. gives "A"; says he always
liked it but he only got a "B" when he wrote it. [The above 6 are in
"College Con Artists and How They Operate" in CBA]
T. Prof. Donald "Art of Computer Programming" Knuth's 1st publication was in
MAD mag. (MAD #33 "The Potrzebie system of weights and measures")
F. Frat holds blood drive. Some grossly high % of frat donors are HIV positive.
T. There seems to be quite a few university buildings named after Kresge.
Fb.Prof. demos test for diabetes by dipping finger in several flasks of urine
and then licking it. Then asks students to do same. They do, after which
he says he dipped with one finger and licked with the other.
Fb.alt.folklore.college is dead.
Fb.Co-ed responds to "quizzy" announcement with fear of "testies", blushes.
F. Albert Einstein did poorly in school.
T. If you want to post about some university's swimming tests, go to AFC.
T. Sam Houston State University was once Sam Houston Institute of Teaching,
renamed due to initials.
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