This article is from the The Young Ones FAQ, by Andrew Wong BritCom@audiophile.com with numerous contributions by others.
* Neil: "Oh wow!"
* Neil: "Guys, there's some dinner on the floor if you want it"
* "Wow, I hope we don't have a crash..."
* Rik & Vyv: "Neil, your bedroom's on fire !"
* Neil: "No way man ! Everyone knows sleep gives you CANCER!"
* Neil: "I just looked at it and it blew up !"
* Policeman: "That's white man's electricity you're using." (to be used
with heavily emphasised smilies !)
* Neil: "Guys, why don't we, like, try going to lectures tomorrow ?"
Mike: "Neil, I know things are bad but there's no need to panic ! No,
I'll just treat this problem like my mattress - and sleep on it."
* Rick: "Wouldn't it be amazing if all this (Monopoly) money was real?"
Vyv: "Rick, that is the single most predictable and boring thing that
anyone could ever say whilst playing Monopoly."
* Neil: "It's like the kettle killed itself rather than be used by
* Mike: "If people weren't sick, we wouldn't need penicillin"
* Mike: "A social conscience is like a garden fence, you try to eat it,
it'll get stuck in your throat."
* Rick: "No, YOU put my address down. Rick, 15 Credibility Street" (at
the Social Security office)
* Rick: "Tomorrow everyone in England will be free, and there will be
no more social prejudice or hatred. GET UP NEIL, I HATE YOU !!!!!!!"
* Neil's hippie friend Neil: "My barely adequate psychic defences are
* Rick: "You bought me a present! It's a telescope -- a telescope with
a mouse in it!"
* Professor Jim Morrison: "Wow, what is this stuff - tobacco or ...Pink
* Neil's hippie friend Neil: "Wow - it's so uncoool !"
* Rick: "God, I'm bored. Might as well be listening to Genesis"
* Rick: "There's nothing poofy about a man wanting to love his fellow
man- It's just when they start touching each others' bottoms...." -
(to be used with heavy smilies)
* Vyv: "I put it (serum that turns you into an axe-wielding homicidal
maniac) in a Coke can so nobody'd drink it by mistake."
Neil: "You know, I just bet that a bit later on someone does drink
that and turns into an axe-wielding homocidal maniac."
Rick: "Yes, I bet that as well. That's just the sort of crazy
imaginative thing that happens around here."
* Mr. Balowski: "Ah, Coca-Cola, symbol of free West!"
* Rick: "There's no one in here, Mr. Balowski! We're all holograms !"
* Neil: "Oh, well, out of one frying pan, into another frying pan."
* Vyv: "You haven't got a sister, Rick! You're the classic example of
an only child."
* Vyv: "This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme
* Rick: "Honestly, I don't know why I bother sometimes..."
Vyv: "I don't know why you bother ever."
* Neil: "Socks aren't vegetables,man, they should be wiped out !"
* Rick: "Hands up who likes me !"
* Miss Money-Sterling: "I've got a Porsche -bwaha haha ha" (a.k.a. Emma
* Vyv: "Neil, is it really necessary to nail the plates to the table?
What happens when we want to play Monopoly? Go directly to plate? Do
not pass plate nailed to the table by a stupid hippie?"
* Neil: "Boom shanka...May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the
belly of your woman."
* Rick: "Oh, that's right, Vyvyan. If the mountain won't come to
Muhammed, smash the drawing room to pieces. That's very Buddhist,
* Rick: "Neil, the bathroom's free! Unlike the country under the
* Rick: "Neil, is it really necessary to have the light on when you're
in the bath?"
Neil: "Well, yeah."
Rick: "Why, what are you planning to do - photosynthesize?"
* Mike: "What's that thumping?"
Vyv: "Oh, it's probably Rick doing a bit of reading."
* Vyv: "YES !! WE'VE GOT A VIDEO !!!"
* Mike: "I hate to say anything negative, but no."
* Vyv: "Rick, shut up or I'll kill you."
* Neil: "Flares are coming back in -- I read it in my horoscope!"
* Rick: "Neil, how are you keeping that flowerpot up?!?"
* Rick: "Oh, no. The front door's exploded."
* Vyv: "'Vyvyan, Vyvyan, Vyvyan!' Honestly, whenever anything explodes
in this house, it's always 'blame Vyvyan!'"
* Rick: "What, me, Rick, a virgin? Try telling that to some of the foxy
chicks who owe me favours."
* Rick: "So in fact, all four of us have stayed up for the entire
night. Now that's what I call anarchy!"
* Neil: "Oh no, I'll die if I miss 'Scooby-Doo'!"
* Rick: "And that's Vyvyan....being sick"
* Mike: "Last one to find the jungle animal has to take off all their
clothes. (to Helen Mucus) All right, your turn."
* Rick: "We never clean the toilet, Neil! That's what being a student
is all about!"
* Neil: "I hope Mike hurries back with the cure!"
Vyv: "No Neil, it's Madness this week!"
* Mr. Balowski: "Aw, some sod broke your chair! That's 20 pounds you
* Rick: "What's the difference ? There'll be plenty of chicks for these
tigers on the road to the promised land ! Who cares about Thatcher
and unemployment ? We can do just exactly whatever we want to do !
And do you know why ? Because we're Young Ones ! Bachelor Boys ! Wild
eyed big bottomed anarchists ! LOOK OUT !!! CLLLLLIIIIIFFFF !!!"
(which is *not* the last line in The Young Ones...)