13 What are some of the crazy Section-8 stunts that Klinger has pulled? (MASH)
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This article is from the M*A*S*H FAQ, by Doug Krause mash-faq@lido.com with numerous contributions by others.
13 What are some of the crazy Section-8 stunts that Klinger has pulled? (MASH)
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger, arguably the most entertaining regular
character on M*A*S*H, was determined to get out of the Army via a
Section-8 "Psycho Discharge". The stunts that he pulled in order to
convince everyone that he was crazy included the following:
- Wearing women's clothing (a given).
- Eating a jeep, part by part.
- Soaring away on a hang-glider, looking like "a big red bird with fuzzy
pink feet".
- Loving the army, and then flipping back to being Queen of the Nile.
- Carrying Radar's Teddy Bear.
- Dressing as a nun.
- Escaping in an inflatable rubber raft.
- Various combinations of family members pregnant/dying appeal letters.
- Riding Sophie through the camp (a la Lady Godiva) after he thought he
had reenlisted.
- Trying to fatten up in order to exceed the Army's weight limit.
- Threatening to torch himself. ("Who put gasoline in my gasoline?!")
- Doing guard duty naked while a General was on site.
- During a heat wave he dressed in a rubber reducing suit and fur coat.
- Pole sitting in freezing weather.
- Dressing up as an old Korean peasant woman.
- Running outside PostOp in his underwear, trying to get pneumonia.
- Trying to convince the doctors that he had some mysterious malady.
- Trying to get into West Point.
- Trying to join the Navy.
- Becoming "Zoltan, king of the gypsies".
- Fainting spells.
- Hearing loss. When his hearing came back, the first thing he heard was
that it would have been his ticket home.
- Pretending he was back in Toledo as a civilian.
- Bravery (volunteering for dangerous mission in "Rainbow Bridge").
- Passing himself off as being pregnant.
- Taking care of an imaginary camel.
- Hardship discharge because of his many "children" (he got the pictures
from Potter and others).
- Sending love letters to Generals, usually accompanied by a revealing
photo of himself.
- Dressing up as Moses.
- Practicing voodoo on Potter with a voodoo doll and dead chicken.
- Confessing to be a serial killer who strangled female motorcycle cops.
- Attempting to bribe Potter into giving him a Section-8.
- Attempting to forge his own discharge papers.
- Displaying himself as the Statue of Liberty for General MacArthur.
- Disguising himself as a bush.
- Stowing away in a mail bag.
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