10 What is the exact wording of some of the most famous MASH quotations?
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This article is from the M*A*S*H FAQ, by Doug Krause mash-faq@lido.com with numerous contributions by others.
10 What is the exact wording of some of the most famous MASH quotations?
Since the M*A*S*H series was blessed with excellent writers, many
memorable quotations were spoken by its characters. Every now and then
someone will post a question to alt.tv.mash requesting the exact wording
of a certain quotation, so I thought I should include several of them in
this document. As far as I know these are very close to (if not the same
as) the originals... but if you believe otherwise, let me know!
"I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much
fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver, I can only make
love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions!"
- Hawkeye Pierce,
"Adam's Rib"
"I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a
clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books,
I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry
forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll
even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!"
- Hawkeye Pierce,
"Officer of the Day"
"... but know this: You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can
incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your
thrice-daily swill. But you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My
voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from
this fetid and festering sewer."
- Charles E. Winchester III,
"Fade Out, Fade In"
"I am the essence of overconfidence! I am speculation, adventure; the spirit
of pursuit; the stag howling for its winsome yet anonymous mate. I am the
love call of evolution; the perfume and color of the flowers as they offer
their pollen to the gentle buzz of the bees. I am sex itself, gentlemen.
I am life. I am appetite!"
- Hawkeye Pierce,
"Inga"
"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice,
pull down your pants and slide on the ice."
- Sidney Freedman,
"O.R."
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