C1.1 'Real Kiwi' Test: Results
Description
This article is from the New Zealand FAQ, by Phil Stuart-Jones and Lin Nah with numerous contributions by others.
C1.1 'Real Kiwi' Test: Results
The scores 0 - 48
Man did you dip out or what! What a complete saddo you turned out to be.
The Dept of kiwi immigration had hopes for you, but you failed us so
dsimally that it pains us to even speak to you. We no more want you to be
a kiwi than the queen wants you as a sex slave. You have obviusly never
been to NZ, talked to someone from NZ or even contemplated the gloriousness
that it is to be a New Zealander. You are about as popular as a hunchback
with a burst hump. It is the findings of this department that unless you
have brought to the party a sister worth shagging, a beer worth drinking,
or some shit worth smoking then its adios amoeba!!
48 - 78
Close. Very close. But sadly not close enough. You have reached what is
techmically known in the trade as a 'bloody stink' level of kiwism. You
can proudly say that you know a little of the greatness it is to be a
"omnimpotentlysuccessfulandincrediblymodestkiwi" which is truly a wonderous
feat. Should you wish to continue on your path to enlightenment, the dept
of kiwi immigration strongly suggests you read one of the following
publications:
Aotearoa 'Rugged individual'
New Zealand 'Shit we're good'
The kiwi 'Greatness and modesty personified'
Coincidently, these books are available from member of the dept of kiwism
for a very reasonable price.
78 - 120
CONGRATULATIONS!! You made it.
You have reached the highest standards known to man (and woman, lets not
get sexist here) The Dept of kiwi immigration has but one word to say to
you: CHOICE BRO (ok, technically two words but I never could count) You
have achieved the cuzzie bro level of kiwism. Billy T himself would
proclaim you a 'Fella'. Barry Crump (god rest his swanny) would proclaim
you a 'real top bloke' and Karen Haye would try and score some drugs off
you. Well done mate!!
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