9# First Dates
Description
This article is from the Romance and Dating FAQ, by Henning Klaskala alt.romance.FAQ@online.de with numerous contributions by others.
9# First Dates
From: mars@eddie.mit.edu (Anita Hsiung)
> Do other people have a great deal of trouble with first dates, or is
> it just me? I seem to have problems getting some sort of spark going
> over dinner, even though the conversation is usually pretty good.
I usually have fantastic first dates. (After that, they become
normal.) First of all, by definition, first dates are when you are
excited, interested in getting to know the other person, your hormones
are working overtime, your adrenalin is pumping. It's almost, but not
quite, like opening night of your show, but that's another matter.
Anyway, first dates, I "test" my date on body language (I love reading
on that stuff and trying things out on people), you know, how you
"divide" the table up, is the other person as nervous as you are, what
kind of impression are you giving, all in good fun, of course!
There's always lots to talk about, after all, you don't really know
anything about the other person. What do they do? Personal hobbies?
Do they sing in their car? Anything's fair game!
> What do you think is a good first date activity? Maybe at dinner
> there's too much pressure on intelligent conversation, and there
> should be more of an emphasis on distraction?
Dinner is great! There is nothing like face-to-face to gauge a
potential SO. After all, you may be spending a lot of time talking to
this person, and you want to know how you react to each other. You
already know how people react at movies or fairs or other impersonal
stuff like that. But, pressure. I hate it, but I thrive on it!
> While I'm at it, how do people tend to meet their dates?
Well, when you're out of school, it's work, clients (make sure he/she
isn't in charge of your contract!), things you do after work (theatre,
volunteer work), NetNews, old high school chums' parties.
-- Anita --
From: mars@eddie.mit.edu (Anita Hsiung)
angelok@misg.csd.harris.com (Angelo the Postmaster ) writes:
> As far as body language goes... are you looking for an "OUCH"
> or a "AHH" when you pinch him? *smile*
Actually, to tell the truth, SHOULDERS. Y'know, when you're walking
along and you're not at the hand-holding stage, you kind of bump
shoulders and see how he reacts. Or if you're sitting down together
at a comedy club or a movie, again, you touch shoulders. There's a
whole world of language with them body parts! You can do a touch-n-go
with the shoulder, a longer caress, a friendly contact when he's
explaining a joke that went over your head, almost snuggling into his
shoulder when you lean over to ask him a question...
-- Anita --
From: chrisc@pro-nbs.acme.fred.org (Chris Carstens)
subject: First Date Ideas (summary of replies to a survey)
[...] This is 1992. What is a fun thing to do on a first date? Is it
still dinner and a movie, or are there other things that work well?
[...]
In the fitness spirit...anything outdoors is good. Taking a walk, or
cycling. You can get to know someone without having to focus 100% on them.
Sometimes the complete focus is uncomfortable.
-- Teresa
Okay, here's a few:
Bowling. Asked her outta the blue. Little did I know she was a SERIOUS
bowler, and really beat me bad. I work with her, so asking her wasn't a
problem. Patching up my male ego afterwards was, however.. :)
Horseback Riding. Happens I asked her out for a movie. She has horses,
wanted to go riding instead. I hadn't ridden in years, so we took it easy.
Then, my horse acted up, and threw me...being injury prone, I should have
expected it! The sympathy was nice, though I could have done without the
pain..:)..we are still going out regularly, riding in addition to more
"Traditional" dates, like movies. I guess a "memorable date" like this
one tends to help cement a relationship...it has been several months now.
Dancing in Strange Places. I was eating dinner alone a few years back, it
was late and I was the only person in my end of the restaurant. My waitress
was very nice, very pretty, very funny. Since I was her only customer, we
talked a lot through the course of the evening. The everplaying tape they
use in restaurants had another song come on, and I asked her to dance.
She blushed prettily, we danced for a short time. I hung around until she
got off work (I ate more that night than I have in my life, just so I
didn't have to leave) and we went driving around. Dated her for over a
year.
Redneck! The Official Lumberjack
and Woodgatherer of the RFA
My vote goes for lighting up the barbeque, doing up a rack of ribs and sitting
on the porch playing guitar after the sun sets. But that's just me - I'm
looking for the woman who wants to do the same!
- Pat
Well, I'm a college student and Ice Skating seems to be a pretty big
option, next to dinner and a movie.
Erich
I find miniature golf tobe a great first date, and evening at the symphony
& dinner to be good, an afternoon at Kennywood or the conservancy also
works well.
John
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