6# Gifts
Description
This article is from the Romance and Dating FAQ, by Henning Klaskala alt.romance.FAQ@online.de with numerous contributions by others.
6# Gifts
From: wong@bullet.ecf.toronto.edu (WONG Peter Chih Chen)
subject: Teddy Bears
A way to deliver your gift: I strapped the first one I gave her
into the passenger seat of my car, and I told her I was bringing
a friend to meet her but to be cautious because he's very shy
and a lot younger. So she approached the car very timidly when I
picked her up and she got confused when she couldn't see anyone
as we approached the car. When I opened the door and introduced
her, her reaction was wonderful.
--Peter
From: mlb@cisco.com (Marcia Bednarcyk)
Ah, holiday and birthday gifts. They're fraught with such meaning, which makes
getting the "perfect" thing at the right time so "important". I use quotes
deliberately, because we tend to blow these things up way out of proportion.
Here are my list of suggestions for gift giving. Take them as you will, they
seem to work ok for me. BTW, I'm assuming at this point you've decided that
you would like to give your SO a gift for whatever reason :-).
1. Reduce the importance of the occasion, and give up the quest for the
"perfect" gift. This is the hardest part, I know, because you want the
person to be delighted with the gift. Remind yourself that if s/he isn't
delighted, it's not the end of the world. (If it is, you have more problems
than a gift will solve.) Remember: panic makes it harder to choose a
gift :-).
2. Start thinking about gifts early. This gives you time to think about what
you want to get, your price range, and if you happen to see the "perfect"
thing you can get it when you see it.
3. Here's the real work: *observe* your SO. What does s/he like that s/he
doesn't have? What would make his/her life easier? If you're at a friend's
house, does s/he spend the whole time playing with/admiring/gushing over
something? Is there something that consistently catches his/her eye when
you're shopping together? Does s/he keep mentioning a certain thing?
This is the real secret, since it allows you to find out what s/he really
likes. And it is hard, since it requires you to listen, observe, and
remember without taking notes. I got into this habit early, since I have
a few people I like to give things to who are impossible to buy for. But I
get ideas all year long by watching and listening, and generally I do
pretty well.
For example, 2 years ago I saw the books of the Monty Python scripts and
got them for a dyed in the wool Monty Python friend who I knew didn't know
they were out. He loved them :-). And last year I was given a watch that
I have loved for ages but never got around to getting for myself for
various reasons.
4. Help out your SO. If they've ever lamented that you're difficult to get
things for, drop a few hints. Mention you like something, or something
else would be really useful. Miss Manners may frown, but in the past I
have been so grateful for any help.
5. If you're really, really stuck, ask your SO what s/he would like. Most
common answer is "You don't have to get me anything", which, of course,
you don't listen to at all. Better to ask "What have been your favorite
presents" or "What do you think of <something>?" or anything to get the
conversational ball rolling. Hopefully you can pick up the clues there.
6. If all else fails, there's always a romantic dinner/picnic, flowers, or
candy. Assuming your SO likes those kinds of things ;-).
What it all comes down to really is knowing your SO, what s/he likes, and
tailoring the gift within your time and budget constraints to those likes.
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