1.7 I have a problem with weight. What do I do about this?
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This article is from the Internet Personals: Advice for Gay Men FAQ, by Fred Young nssf@greatwildwest.net and Dean Esmay esmay@syndicomm.com with numerous contributions by others.
1.7 I have a problem with weight. What do I do about this?
If you are obese, just say so in your ad. Don't be afraid of
this. You're preparing yourself and whoever you meet for a letdown
if you're not blunt on this subject. If you're fat, just say,
"Hey, I have a husky build" or "I'm John Goodman sized" or
something like that. Or just say "I'm fat." The point is, be
honest!
On the other hand, if you find fatness unattractive, you would do
well to say so directly in your ad. It may seem cruel to be so
direct, but in fact you are much more likely to hurt someone much
worse if they become very attracted to you, and only then find out
that you are not interested just because they are overweight.
This will hurt them much worse than anything you can say in your
ad about how you don't want anyone too heavy.
We live in a culture that values physical fitness, especially with
gay men. But there are a lot, and I mean a whole lot, of people
out there who genuinely do not care about weight. There are even
a good number of people out there who like the husky build.
So if you don't like fat, say so right up front. But if you are
fat yourself, don't be timid about it. Don't weasel around the
subject, unless you look forward to the prospect of embarrassment,
disappointment, and painful feelings all around. And if you're
fat, remember that lots of people will love you even if you're
fat, maybe will even prefer a chubby person, but you're not giving
them a chance if you don't tell them you're fat right up front.
Say it over and over again: Honesty, honesty, honesty!
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