10 Baldness Cures and Consequences: F. Hair Transplants and BaldnessReduction Procedures.
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This article is from the Self Improvement FAQ, by Loren Larsen llarsen@cs.clemson.edu with numerous contributions by others.
10 Baldness Cures and Consequences: F. Hair Transplants and BaldnessReduction Procedures.
This is the ultimate solution. It is the only one that, when it
works, works permanently, such that you don't need to do it again!
There is nothing like your own growing, regenerating hair.
Cost: $8,000 (for just a bald crown) to $40,000 (for full-cap bald).
(a) Advantages. If you have the bucks to spend, well spend them here.
You will eventually get your money's worth, if you don't decide to
buy a house instead. Quite simply, a doctor will take hairs from the
sides or back of your scalp and install them onto your bald or balding
areas. These transplanted hairs are the ones with strict genetic
instructions to stay with you until your last breath. An assistant
will sew the donor sites together ("donor closure") so you won't have
gaps on the side of your head. Once the new stuff grows in, it's
yours. No more hairpiece servicing, no more bottles of drugs or
colored hairspray to buy, just your own hair. Sound good? Read on.
(b) Disadvantages. The prices listed are actually rather realistic,
if you're going to get pleasing results. You wouldn't need to spend
all of that money all at once, however. Each procedure will cost from
$900 to $2000.
The 8 grand would cover four or five procedures over at least a year
and a half and could result in pleasing results for a person who
looked like O.J. Simpson's lawyer (but only for his crown, not for the
front). (With that guy's money, one wonders why he never did this.)
This could involve two baldness-reduction procedures (galeoplasty)
spaced 3 months apart and then three transplant procedures.
Try to do as much reduction as possible; this procedure produces
fastest results. A crescent moon-shaped or star-shaped slice of bald
scalp is simply cut out, and then the remaining scalp is sewn
together. Rather quickly, you're much less bald. Your scalp is elastic
enough to tolerate this. After this heals, the remaining bald spot is
covered with hair grafts. The scars remaining after a reduction
procedure heals will disappear under the transplanted hair from later
procedures. The 40 grand figure is an uneducated guess at what a
full-cap bald person might need to spend, ultimately, to get the BEST
possible results. (Actually, for 40 grand, maybe they'll do something
about your nose too!) You'll need to consider the amount of donor
hair you have, however. Captain Picard just would never have enough
to make it work. Of course, he could have tufts growing in several
places, but no one would ever mistake him for a person with full head
of hair. Still, procedures and surgeons are constantly improving.
So it all depends on your pattern: how far bald you're likely to get.
If you think your pattern will never make you fully bald, you might
want to try turning things around in the hirsute direction.
(c) More Disadvantages:
It is true that the surgical procedures themselves are almost
completely painless. You are given nitrous oxide and a local
anaesthetic, so you feel next to nothing as you watch television, sip
on a soft drink, and chat with your surgeon. (In actuality, you'll be
high as a kite from the nitrous thinking that you'd really enjoy this
if those guys would just stop chopping on your head.) You probably
won't even see a drop of blood during the procedure; the companies
really try to hide the blood, since it upsets some clients so much.
You'll feel, painlessly and vaguely, someone drilling into your donor
sites and then preparing similar holes in the transplant sites. The
transplants themselves will be little cylindrical cores of follicles
Immediately after either a baldness-reduction or transplant procedure,
you'll look like an Indian Sikh with a white turban. (If people
mistake you for a swami, tell them you're using spiritual powers to
grow hair.) The bandage comes off after just one or two days,
revealing a healing wound. After a baldness-reduction procedure,
you'll look like someone just hit you in the head with an axe; after a
typical transplant procedure, you'll look like a rabid woodpecker had
its way with your head--actually, after a few days, it won't be SO
bad. You can start washing your hair again, very carefully, after
two or three days.
These inevitable stages don't have to be psychologically or socially
traumatic for you, however. This is definitely the time to get out
your hat collection, to adjust your schedule so that you won't return
to work for at least four days (though some people could physically do
so the very next day).
Transplanted hair falls out a month after surgery; it then--slowly--
regrows. Aesthetically pleasing regrowth takes about 6 months
(d) Cautions. Your results will depend on the skill and caring of your
surgeons. Experience counts a lot. Investigate before you invest!
Lots of micro or mini transplants are ultimately better than just a
few larger-sized transplants. The little ones take better. Your
transplants should certainly be MUCH, MUCH smaller each than a dime;
more the size of, say, three pinheads put together.
Each time you get another transplant procedure near a spot where a
former transplant was done, the earlier transplants will be disturbed.
Some might die, but most will temporarily bald again from the shock
but then come back, after the normal 3 to 4 months.
(e) Variations.
There are flap procedures in which a whole flap of sideline hair is
cut out, twisted, and stuck onto a prepared bald spot. This allegedly
provides instant results of varying quality, especially for people
bald in front. The advantage is supposed to be that the flap of hair
never completely loses its blood supply since part of it is still
attached to its original location on the scalp.
A variation of the baldness-reduction procedure is to expand the scalp
beforehand by surgically inserting balloon-like devices into which
more and more liquids are forced over the course of several weeks.
This makes the bald scalp bulge out; the extra skin, once loosened in
this way, is then snipped away. As the balloons fill, the client
begins to look like a creature from outer space. If you can possibly
stand looking like this, logically the procedure should work, since
you'll rid yourself of more bald skin than is possible with normal
baldness reduction. You may also enjoy an unanticipated facelift in
the process. (That is not a joke! Think about it. When extra scalp
is cut away, the remaining skin on your head is tightened up. Same
with normal (balloon-free) baldness reduction procedures.)
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