This article is from the Psychology FAQ, by Rolf Marvin Bøe Lindgren roffe@tag.uio.no with numerous contributions by others.
Most borderlines seem to have lost a person of emotional importance
sometime between ages 3 and 18. This emotional trauma, which most
people handle adequately, seems to have a stronger than usual impact
on borderlines. It seems as if the trauma of losing a close person is
so strong that avoiding the possibility of any subsequent loss becomes
all-important.
This, perhaps, explains why borderlines do not form close
relationships or strong emotional ties to other people because they
are too afraid to lose them.
 
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