12. How does suicide affect friends and family members?
Description
This article is from the Suicide FAQ, by Graham Stoney greyham@research.canon.com.au with numerous contributions by others.
12. How does suicide affect friends and family members?
Suicide is often extremely traumatic for the friends and family
members that remain (the survivors), even though people that attempt
suicide often think that no-one cares about them. In addition to the
feelings of grief normally associated with a person's death, there may
be guilt, anger, resentment, remorse, confusion and great distress
over unresolved issues. The stigma surrounding suicide can make it
extremely difficult for survivors to deal with their grief and can
cause them also to feel terribly isolated.
Survivors often find that people relate differently to them after the
suicide, and may be very reluctant to talk about what has happened for
fear of condemnation. They often feel like a failure because someone
they cared so much about has chosen to suicide, and may also be
fearful of forming any new relationships because of the intense pain
they have experienced through the relationship with the person who has
completed suicide.
People who have experienced the suicide of someone they cared deeply
about can benefit from "survivor groups", where they can relate to
people who have been through a similar experience, and know they will
be accepted without being judged or condemned. Most counselling
services should be able to refer people to groups in their local area.
Survivor groups, counselling and other appropriate help can be of
tremendous assistance in easing the intense burden of unresolved
feelings that suicide survivors often carry.
The suicide-survivors mailing list provides such a group via
electronic mail. See the resource list companion posting mentioned at
the top of this posting for more information.
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