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15 How can I keep my spleen clean?




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This article is from the the official alt.spleen FAQ, by Andrew Stellman with numerous contributions by others.

Andrew says: NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ANY MAIL TO ME REQUESTING MEDICAL ADVICE! I AM NOT A DOCTOR, AND WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY USEFUL INFORMATION.

15 How can I keep my spleen clean?

Noted spleen researcher David Calvin (calvid@nason105.its.rpi.edu) finds that Pledge is the only way to remove waxy Spam buildup. However, for everyday cleaning, Windex or soap and water, plus a rubdown with a paper towel or a lint-free cloth, should suffice. Never tumble dry your spleens, they bruise easily when exposed to heat.

David Calvin notes that Pledge and Spam are important elements to a happy spleen, and should not be ignored. If you want your spleen to be happy in the long run, treat it to a meal of Spam (or Vegimite for vegetarian spleens -- see below for more about vegetarian alternatives), followed by a brisk Pledge rubdown, at least once a year. This will greatly improve a spleen's attitude and outlook.

 

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