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38 Wild life in the fast lane (Urban legends)




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This article is from the Urban legends FAQ, by Terry Chan tchan@dante.lbl.gov and Peter van der Linden linden@eng.sun.com with numerous contributions by others.

38 Wild life in the fast lane (Urban legends)

F.*As part of initiation, potential gang members drive around with
headlights off at night and will shoot people who flash headlights at them.
T. There seem to be quite a few warnings about fatal gang initiations lately.
[e.g., flashing headlights, clothing, etc.]
T. Not surprisingly, other ULs (e.g., "Killer in the Backseat", ankle tendon
slashers, etc.) have emerged with "gang initiation" motifs.
Fb.Schoolkid beheaded by road sign,due to sticking his head out the bus window.
T.*Oregon Highway Div blows up eight ton dead whale, showers area with blubber.
T.*...See D. Barry's column and an *.avi file on available at cathouse.org.
Fb.Gas (petrol) engines pollute the same as diesel; diesel just smells worse.
Tb.Diesel engines emit more unburnt hydrocarbons than gas ones w/catalytic conv
Ft.Power windows in cars trap kids' limbs, necks. Kill or maim them.
T. A 2 yr-old girl was killed by a power window in a Fiat in the UK in May 1992
F. Stop signs with a white border are optional. (Oh, I don't think so...)
F. Leaving car radio on when the ignition switch is off will drain battery.
[Exc. VWs, etc. where the radio is not switched thru the ignition switch.]
Tb.Airbag in car can give you a chemical burn when it deploys.
U. Driver sets cruise control, wrongly believes it steers too! Crashes...
["'Cruise Control' Stories" in TCD.]
Tb.Tree-lined French avenue triggers epileptic fits by flickering light at 11Hz
F. The VW Beetle was designed by Hitler. [It was designed by F. Porsche.]
T. Hitler did push the idea of the Beetle as a "people's car" though perhaps
solely for propaganda purposes.
Fb.New car rattles -- note found in door frame from factory saboteur...
["The Rattle in the Cadillac" in TCD.Classic UL always involves a luxury car
T. Montana had a token $5 fine for exceeding Federal 55mph limit.
...when it mattered.
T. Mongo-power engine installed in weenie-looking car. Blows off Corvettes.
T. John Somebody-or-other built car called "the Beast" with 27lt Spitfire engine
T. It eventually took off, and self-destructed on the A27 outside Brighton.
T. Special equipment can transmit any reading you want to police radar gun.
T. There are traffic lights with green on top in a few US Irish neighborhoods.
T. You can be guilty of DUI on a bicycle, horse, perambulator, etc most places.
T. Guy in Los Alamos labs fitted a jet engine to Honda Civic, ran on salt flats.
F. Person fitted rocket/JATO unit to car, embedded in rockface at first bend.
...Steve Lubars called the AZ Highway patrol in July 1996 to research a
version he heard and according to Charles DeCarolis at the Department of
Public Safety, "He says he's heard this story many times and has
consequently done some research on it. According to him, no such incident
has ever been described in any Highway Patrol accident or crime scene
reports and said I could quote him on this on the record."
Fb.Man working on roof ropes himself to car on other side;wife drives off.Splat.
T. The "man on roof" appeared on a home video show in UK. Believed to be staged.
F. Hitchhiker disappears, is ghost of person killed years ago in road accident.
...There is also a version involing the angel Gabriel, et al.
["The Vanishing Hitchhiker" in TVH and TMP]
F. Valuable classic car sold for pittance by (1) grieving parents of war dead
F,U(2) spouse of errant husband (3) heirs of person who died and rotted in it.
Fb.(4) sold by widow who would receive either car or proceeds of its sale.
["The Death Car" and "The Philanderer's Porsche" in TVH. "The Bargain
Sports Car" in CBA]
F. Psycho's handhook hanging from the car door, broken off as couple drove away
["The Hook" in TVH]
F. Carthief squashed dead in stolen BMW by collapsing freeway in '89 SF quake
F.*Driving barefoot is illegal. (Nope, but it's dumb to goad cops)
T.*...unless you're operating/riding a motocycle in Alabama.
Tb*...You *might* be ticketed in MI/MD for careless/reckless driving.
T.*...It's not "recommended" by Indiana, Iowa, Missouri, Ohio, or Wyoming.
T. ...It took three years for Jason H. to get his due here but I wanted to
make sure that all the deadbeat states had a chance to get reply and so
I wouldn't have to add the original last line that he suggested.
T. New York car thief stole lab delivery of cadaver heads...
U. Red sports cars generate disproportionate number of speeding tickets.
F. Man crashes into toll booth while receiving fellatio from girlfriend.
T. It's really no big deal that there are towns named "Intercourse" and
"Blue Ball" in Pennsylvania. Post it to misc.misc if you can't resist.
T.*There are some lights w/sensors for emergency vehicles.
F.*Flashing your headlights will cause a traffic light to change faster.
Tb.There're lots folk remedies to plug up old radiators: cigarettes, pepper.
T. Lots of places have weird street names.
T. You can find lots of weird msgs on license plates if you try really hard.
T. "SIGAlerts" in the greater LA area are named for a guy named Loyd Sigmon.
F. Couple's car out of gas; he gets help; she hears noise, then cops arrive;
tell her to leave & not look back; she does, sees him hanging or
decapitated. ["The Boyfriend's Death" in TVH]
F. Guy tries to siphon gas from an RV but instead siphons from the septic tank;
found unconscious by RV next morning.
Tb."Maintenance-Free" batteries were invented for cheaper transport of new cars
F. Police officer pulls over female driver. She asks about tickets to a
policemen's ball, he replies "Policemen don't have balls" and he leaves
flustered (or she is totally embarassed). ["Miscellaneous Sex Legends" TCD]
Fb.Woman gets in her car at night; is followed on the way home; calls for help;
husband accosts the guy; guy was trying to warn woman of thug in backseat of
her car. ["The Killer in the Back Seat", TVH]
Fb.Parking spot taken from older woman by two younger women. They tell her
"Sorry we're younger and faster." Woman reflects, rams their car, and
replies "I'm older and richer". [Several variations on the repartee.]
["Old vs. Young" in TMP and also used in the film "Fried Green Tomatoes".]
F. A motorcyclist at high speed hits a fly which goes to his brain via his eye.
F. An auto worker steals parts of a Caddy bit by bit until he has a whole car.
U. Fancy car has "No Radio" sign. Owner returns to broken windshield and "No
Windshield"/"Get One" or "Just Checking" sign.
Fb.Truck gets stuck at low bridge. Noone knows what to do; a young kid suggests
letting the air out of the tires.
Tb.UK people drive on the left (etc) to allow easy sword access in old days.
F. Someone never gets a ticket because his license plates say "NONE".
T.*...Someone got 2,500 tickets because his license plates say "NOPLATE".
T. ...Cops were told to write "NONE" instead of "NOPLATE" when car has none.
...See comp.risks issue 3.12.
Tb.Freon can be used to break Kryptonite locks.
F. In great desperation, mother lifts car off and rescues trapped child.
F. Woman picks up elderly woman hitchhiker; sees that HH has hairy arms; gets
HH out on pretense;takes off;later finds cleaver/hatchet/knife in seat.
["The Hairy Armed Hitchhiker" in TCD.]
F. Couple w/baby on long trip stops to switch places; place baby on roof; they
forget it up there! Police cruiser pull them over and baby is rescued.
["The Baby on the Roof" in TCD.]
F. Grandma dies on long family trip; they strap body to roof; car is stolen!
["The Runaway Grandmother" in TVH.]
T. "The Club" is lame because a thief could cut through the wheel in no time.
T. You sure gets lots of junk when you ask about US highway numbering schemes.
T. Not many threads are dumber than [non]funny place and street names...
...except for "names in phonebooks."
F.*Rolls-Royce will go to great extremes to fix problems and deny that there
were any problems to protect their image.
F. There are various extremely harsh penalities (e.g., execution) for
drunk driving in other countries (e.g., Turkey, Norway, El Salvador, etc.)
T. ...this story is commonly spread via flyers.
T. Airbags have been stolen from cars.

 

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