This article is from the Stand-up Comedy FAQ, by Steven Rosenthal and Steve Silberberg (email@example.com) with numerous contributions by others.
A. Oh, sure, you may be pretty damn funny. But you'll need a hell of a lot
more than that to get one of your so-called "gigs." Bitterness, for one
thing. If you haven't failed miserably at nearly every legitimate job
you've ever tried to hold, then you might not have the necessary level of
choking bile to perform stand-up. You see, the best stand-ups are those who
are able to take their own sickening, pathetic obsessions and shortcomings,
and splatter them all over an audience like an Alien Autopsy. Only then
will you even begin to appreciate the masochistic delight you'll experience
offering your brilliant analogies and sparkling wit to a room full of
smoking drunks trying desperately to get laid by the other fattest person
in the room.