The Complete Guide To Hack Stand-Up Comedy
Frequently Asked Questions about
The Complete Guide To Hack Stand-Up Comedy was written by Steven
Rosenthal with numerous contributions by others. Maintained by Steve
Silberberg (stevebo@onramp.net).
HACK (from the British word Hack-neyed) adj. Over used and thus cheapened,
trite. (From THE AMERICAN COLLEGE DICTIONARY)
Note (1): This list is written mostly for the benefit of new comics - not
for the condemnation of seasoned acts. Just because you see an older comic
doing some of these is no reason to start hurling tomatoes. A lot of this
material became cliche' because of overexposure in the '80s, and any comic
you see may have written it well before it became hack.
Note (2): These guidelines may not apply in Britain. From what I
understand, Europe is just now getting a stand-up boom like we Yanks had
ten years ago. It is entirely possible that English audiences have not seen
these topics a million times.
This FAQ is Copyright 1995-8 by Steven Rosenthal, and is made
available as a service to the Internet community. It may not be sold
in any medium, including electronic, CD-ROM, or database, packaged
with any commercial product, or published in print, without the
explicit, written permission of the author, Steven Rosenthal, and the
FAQ maintainer, Steven J. Silberberg
- 1a "L.A. is different than..."
- A ton of comics move to Los Angeles to pursue a television or film ...
- 1b "Men and women are really different..."
- No kidding. Volumes could be written about how comedians pit the ...
- 1c "Cats are different than Dogs..."
- Andy Kindler's magazine article THE HACK'S HANDBOOK says that this ...
- 2a "What's up with these 7-11 employees?"
- I know that Apu on THE SIMPSONS is funny, but that's as far as it goes....
- 2b "And I said 'Put down the Donut, officer...'"
- Yeah, cops eat donuts a lot. Haven't heard that one before. Same goes ...
- 2c "Black people walk or talk or dance differently than White people."(Then demonstrate)
- Racists, back me up on this!...
- 2d "Now, folks... I have nothing against homosexuals..."
- When comics deny their homophobia or racism before a joke, you can be ...
- 2e "I was in Alabama recently..."
- And let me guess... hmmmm... were the people there stupid and ...
- 2f "What would ROMEO AND JULIET be like in da hood?" OR "Could you imagineif The President was Mexican?"
- Typically the pattern is: It wouldn't be that way if it was my ethnicity!...
- 2g "Horror Movies wouldn't work if the characters were black! Because theywouldn't peek into the bushes... they'd just run!"
- Not only is this the same pattern as above, but it's been stolen from ...
- 3: Did You Ever Notice That Observational Comedy Is Getting A Little Old?
- Have you ever noticed, how a lot of stand up comedian's seem to say ...
- 3a "I fly on airplanes a lot..."
- Yes, I'll bet you do. Or you used to when there was more of a road to work....
- 3b "Bob Dylan/Michael McDonald/Michael Jackson sings funny."
- No duh. Let's move on....
- 3c "You can't hear what the guy's saying at the Drive through."
- Let me guess: So you just mumble back to them. That's original....
- 3d "What's up with these Remote Controls?"
- What's the use of the eject button?... Our parents in the old days had ...
- 3e "Do we have any pot smokers in the house?"
- I don't have a joke about that, I just wanted to see who I can hang ...
- 3f "Anybody remember GILLIGAN'S ISLAND?"
- Yes we do. And we don't know how could they get so lost on a three ...
- 3g "Saw a lot of construction on Highway Blah blah blah"
- This one's more typical of the Midwest I hear. A comic gets into town ...
- 3h "You gotta be careful these days, lotta diseases out there..."
- Remember when it was just STDs? Now herpes is like nothing! or the ...
- 3i "Have you seen that commercial where blah blah blah?"
- THE HACK'S HANDBOOK calls commercials The Hack Happy Hunting Grounds ...
- 3j "Have you guys seen this nicotine patch?"
- Now, I'm up to three patches a day! I gotta start smoking to get off ...
- 4a "So Howard Taft is in the news again..."
- It's pretty clear that a topical comedian has to write more currently ...
- 4b "What's up with this Lorena Bobbit, huh?"
- One of Nostradamus's quatrains goes as follows:...
- 5a "...and that's just the women!"
- The Bait and Switch is a classic comedy device that'll stay with ...
- 5b "What if O.J. Simpson sang the Brady Bunch theme?"
- Nothing says, My only comedy influence is MAD Magazine like a lame ...
- 5c "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm the illegitimateson of Mario Andretti and Fred Flinstone!"
- Or any other two people. I think Judy Carter (or Gene Perret) ...
- 5d "Am I going too fast for you sir?"
- A typical trick is to pick someone up front to turn the audience against ...
- 5e The Invisible Prop
- So I'm wearing a beanie with a propeller on it while walking down ...
- 5f The "List"
- You burrito munching-no job-zit freak-retard-etc-etc-...
- 5g "... it's just me"
- Hey, does anyone like gay porn? Oh, so it's just me....
- 5h "Did I say that one out loud?"
- Who said that? I can't believe I said that!...
- 5i "Well folks, it's about time for me to get out of here..."
- It doesn't take much Show-Business savvy to realize that one should ...
- 6a Jack Nicholson
- Please, please, please, do not do Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson is done ...
- 6b Robert DeNiro
- You talking to me? Yes, I am and you've almost as over done as Jack....
- 6c William Shatner
- Every sketch show in the world does a Star Trek bit. Don't rehash it ...
- 6f. Elvis
- Hey, I can impersonate Elvis! Why don't I put him in a wacky situation,...
- 6e Christopher Lloyd as "Reverend Jim" from TAXI
- I'm not sure why this is done so much, but it is. Perhaps it's an ...
- 6f Others to stay away from.
- Don Knotts, Louis Armstrong, Jimmy Stewart, Ronald Reagan, Ross Perot....
- 6g Celebrity Impersonaters.
- Don't dress up and act the part of your favorite comic! Besides the ...
- 7 "That Reunion Tower Sure Looks Like A Penis"
- When a hack comes to a new city on tour, most of their 'new' jokes ...
- 8 I'm Not Making These Stock Lines Up People!
- Some stock lines have been around since the age of vaudeville, yet ...
- 9. How To Tell If A Topic Will Be Hack Before It Is
- Any news story which allows a hack comic to cover a controversial ...
- 10 Wait A Second... I'M A Hack!
- Don't panic! There's hope for you yet. All the inventive comics I ...
- 11 References
- The Hack's Handbook by Andy Kindler. NATIONAL LAMPOON February ...