This article is from the series of articles on Yoga and Sexuality, written by Corinne Friesen, the author of "Hurry Up - Relax!" and author of audioyoga.com where you can find a lot of information about yoga.
This is a basic meditation that will help your ability to simply sit and notice feelings without doing anything about them. With practice, you will be more able to sustain your sexual energy during love making and will be more able to build your sexual desire during a session. As a result, you will have more rich experiences - and stronger orgasms. :D
Where & When to Do This
Any time, anywhere you have a moment.
Best place is in a quiet spot where you'll be undisturbed for 5 - 20 minutes.
Best time is in the morning - but any time is good.
Sitting comfortably or lying down.
Be in a position where your body will feel least inclined to move.
If you're lying down, have your arms by your sides with a little space between your body and your arms.
If you're sitting, your arms can be resting loosely in your lap, elbows slighltly open.
Have your face & chin pointing forward, so that your air passages are fully open.
Eyes are open and relaxed, not looking at anything in particular.
Once you are settled into place, all you need to do is pay attention to your breath as it comes and goes.
As you breathe in, hear the air rushing into your head, feel your body opening up. As you breathe out, follow the breath out into the room. Do this for however long you have. 3 - 5 minutes is a good start. If you become comfortable with 3 - 5 minutes, increase the duration 1 minute at a time.
During this meditation, it's very common for people to have feelings and thoughts come up. You might notice a flood of emotions start to rise up, or your mind might start to race. Many people start to feel slightly irritated with the exercise, or they start to feel 'ant-sy'. This is OK and is a sign that the meditation is going normally and is working. It shows that your mind is starting to relax, and as it is relaxing you are starting to let go of thoughts and feelings that you have been keeping 'a lid on'. The remedy for this is to simply notice the thoughts and feelings and let them go by breathing in and out. Draw a slow breath in, noticing the air flow in, noticing how your body opens up - and you'll refocus and be back into the meditation. If you can continue, you will eventually find that these feelings subside and you reach a deeper state of meditation. The benefit to your life is that it makes you very patient and trains you to enjoy the moment.
There are some wonderful variations on this meditation if you want to do it with your partner. With any of these, you may sometimes find your breathing ends up being synchronized. If you are aware of your energy bodies, you might also notice that these exercises start synchronizing your energy bodies, so that the rhythms, flow and colours begin to be in harmony with each other. When that happens, it's very beautiful.
Here are three variations of this meditation that are lovely to do with your partner:
1. Simply practice together, in the same room, each of you paying attention to your own breathing.
2. Sitting, facing each other, do the meditation by paying attention to your partner's breathing. You may find it hard to keep your attention on your partner's breath. If your mind wanders, that's OK, just bring your attention back to the exercise.
3. Both of you lie down, curl up in 'the Spoon' position, facing the same direction, one partner snuggled up behind the other, like two spoons in a drawer. Decide ahead of time how long you will do the meditation and if it is or is not allowed to go farther into sexual exploration. Decide ahead of time if you will be paying attention to your own breathing or to your partners', or if you're going to start with yourself and later shift to noticing your partner's breath. Then simply notice the breath as it comes and goes, the movement of your bodies, the sounds, the feel of the breath on your skin. (This is one of my favourite practices! It feels very gentle and it can strongly increase your awareness of each other.)