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How to Break Repeated Patterns




About the Author

Margaret Jang is a Reiki Master Teacher & Practitioner, Numerologist, Intuitive, and a Spiritual/Inspirational Poet & Writer. She currently resides in Vancouver, BC and can be contacted at margjang@gmail.com or through her website www.margaretjang.com.

How to Break Repeated Patterns

Although your purpose in life is to continuously grow, expand and learn, so that you allow your soul to develop to higher levels of consciousness, many of you may feel that you are spinning your wheels resulting in going nowhere.

How many can attest to starting and quitting a job repeatedly, either every few months or every few years, but always blaming the reason on circumstances beyond your control or that you were bored out of your mind? How many will admit to moving your residence every year, never being satisfied or always thinking that the grass is greener on the other side? How many relationships or friendships have you let go by the wayside with the excuse that you had nothing in common or that you just outgrew one another?

Too often life can slip by without ever realizing that you have established a set pattern of behaviour that does not really benefit you. You end up wondering why you feel stuck or perhaps you feel that you have achieved nothing, only to feel disgruntled and bitter, but not understanding that only you can change your circumstances. Of course you may avoid thinking about this altogether for fear of what you might uncover or maybe you would rather behave like an ostrich, sticking your head in the sand and hoping that your reality will magically fix itself. But unfortunately, what you don't recognize or admit to, you cannot change or fix.

Quite often you can run around in the same circle searching for the right job, the right partner, the right home, the right friends, the right hobby, the right religion or the right group, but your happiness remains elusive. Oh, in the beginning you may feel an adrenaline rush that temporarily satisfies you, but alas, it doesn't last.

In reality, what you are searching for is the right spiritual niche, a journey that your soul guides you to find and then travel. For some, this seems to be a matter of common sense where you just follow your heart, but for others, it becomes an arduous task, where you lose your bearings and feel adrift. You fight every inch of the way putting up resistance and refusing to listen to reason or to the sound advice from others.

So how can you tell whether you are adrift or if it has been created from repeated patterns of behaviour? Get yourself into a relaxed mode and then examine your entire life, going as far back as you can remember. Examine each year thoroughly and as you ask yourself the questions listed below, remain open and honest with your answers. After-all, who are you fooling by lying? Note what achievements you attained, as well as any failures. But remember that achievements are important whether they are big or small, so don't discount any and failures are not really a failure if you learned the valuable lesson that they teach.

Here are some questions that will help you do your assessment, but feel free to add to it.

1. Do you consider yourself to be a neat and orderly person?

2. Are you a disciplined and reliable person?

3. Are you stubborn with tunnel-vision?

4. Are you happy, unhappy, depressed, angry, resentful and if so, why?

5. Do you prefer to adhere to a schedule or do you fly by the seat of your pants?

6. Do you live or work in chaos, unable to find things or constantly misplacing items?

7. Do you have a work history that reveals constant job changes?

8. Do you have trouble staying employed because of a bad attitude, a bad temper, laziness or uncooperativeness?

9. Are you a productive or a non-productive person?

10. Do you sleep in until late morning or afternoon, frittering and wasting valuable time?

11. Are you a procrastinator?

12. Are you a control-freak?

13. Do you have addictive habits such as smoking, drinking, hard-core drugs, gambling or over-eating?

14. Are you independent or are you co-dependent?

15. Do you get adequate sleep or are you always running on empty?

16. Are you financially stable or are you in financial debt or barely scraping by?

17. Do you get yourself out of difficult situations or do you depend on others to bail you out?

18. Do you feel emotionally or energetically drained or stressed out?

19. Who are your friends - describe their positive and negative attributes and why do you value their friendship?

20. Do you love your current job or do you feel that you are in a dead-end position and live from paycheque to paycheque?

21. Are you interested in attaining higher education and if so, what subjects interest you?

22. Do you end relationships only to find that you seek out the same types of people?

23. What are your most positive attributes?

24. What are your most negative attributes?

25. Are you willing to make changes in your life that will benefit you more positively?

26. What changes do you think that you need to make in order to live a more fulfilling life?

27. Do you quit jobs only to apply for the same type of job, instead of upgrading your skills?

28. Do you have an erratic relationship with your partner or family, where you are in constant battle or disagreement?

29. Do you start a project only to give up when the going gets tough?

30. Have you ever finished projects that give you complete satisfaction, if so, list them and explain your feelings?

31. Do you have the "poor me" syndrome where you like to blame others, society or circumstances for your lack of success?

32. Are you a responsible person with lots of initiative, in which you are self-starting, self-motivated and never gives up?

33. Do you embrace challenges or do you prefer to walk away or take the easy way out?

34. What achievements have you experienced during your life and what is the significance for each?

35. What failures have you experienced during your life and what did you learn from each failed experience?

36. Do you have faith in your own abilities?

After you finish your assessment, try to uncover whether you continuously, but unconsciously repeat patterns of behaviour that are unhealthy for your state of mind, emotional equilibrium or overall physical well-being. Try to match similarities that have occurred during the various years. To give a clearer picture, you can also assemble your achievements into groups of what you love doing the most, such as creative endeavours, hobbies, community activities or outdoor activities. Once you have established a pattern for your achievements, analyze your list to see if any would be suitable as a career path, for instance. Or perhaps your list will uncover areas that you detest, but keep repeating year after year, person after person or situation after situation and if this is so, then ask yourself why.

Part of breaking repeated patterns is to first recognize them, but also you must establish order into your life. It's impossible to move forward in a willy-nilly manner steeped in chaos and hope to achieve success. Obviously if your old habits aren't working for you, then you must change them, but of course it will take discipline and commitment to adhere to a more structured regime.

In order to break repeated patterns, you must be prepared to change how you think, change how you speak, change how you act, change how you re-act, change who you associate with and change your lifestyle, plus you must become attentive to make right choices. Another important observation is that you must have faith in yourself. Without this, you will lack self-love, self-esteem, self-assurance and will always doubt yourself every chance you get, which is very self-defeating and will only lead to more self-induced failure.

Living a happy, productive and successful life is all about choice. So if you currently feel suspended and going nowhere, then do yourself a favour by moving out of your comfort zone. Make a wise choice by taking the time to uncover and unravel established repeated patterns that you may not think important or have any bearing on your present life. Do you agree with this old adage, "That the truth always hurts?" But when you really think deeply about it, living your entire life in a repeated pattern of dismal, stagnation seems like a greater, inexcusable hurt.

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  2. Relationship with Self
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  4. Why Do We Long For Affinity?
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