This article was written by Gini Grey, who is a Transformational Coach, utilizing a powerful blend of coaching, counseling and spiritual energy tools in her individual sessions, workshops, books and CD's. For more information go to www.ginigrey.com.
When we feel good about ourselves this extends into our work, our relationships and all aspects of our life. When we hold ourselves in high regard we look at life through joyful eyes. We feel confident and competent, even if we are learning something new. We give ourselves a break instead of beating ourselves up, and we extend this kindness to others around us.
So what happens when we don't have high self-esteem? Most of us know what it feels like to be down on one's self or feel not quite good enough; there's that nagging doubt or underlying anxiety anytime we ponder trying something new or risky. When we're experiencing really low self-esteem we can feel like a failure; our energy slows down, our perspective shifts to 'nothins no good no how', and our external life starts to reflect our internal misery.
If we each want to feel good and move forward in life, what gets in the way of us having high self-esteem on a regular basis? We could trace it back to our childhood experiences of neglect, criticism or abuse. We could blame it on unsupportive people in our lives or on unfortunate circumstances we've experienced. But in the end, will this shift our self-esteem? Not likely, in fact dwelling on the reasons for our poor self image will only reinforce it. We need to release old hurts and discontinue treating ourselves the way others may have mistreated us in the past. If we rely on others to make us feel good we will only become co-dependent on them. It is up to each of us to find our truth that we are enough, that we can learn to do anything we want, and that we are filled with love and joy inside.
Imagine how strong your self-esteem will be if you build it yourself from the inside out.
* On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being almost no self-esteem and 10 being your highest self-esteem, where would you currently rate yourself? What supports you in having it as high as it is (even if it is below 5)? What gets in the way of it being higher?
* Do you evaluate yourself through other's eyes and expectations or only through your own? What if other's opinions didn't matter, how would you feel?
* How do you treat yourself? Are you kind, supportive, patient and positive? Or are you hard on yourself, impatient, and judgmental? Listen to your self-talk and thoughts to find out. How can you be kinder to yourself?
* Each day, look at where you rate your current level of self-esteem and ask yourself what you could do to raise it one point on the scale. Then do it. To discover what would help you to raise your self-esteem try brainstorming a list, or sit relaxed with your eyes closed and ask your mind what it needs, ask your body what it needs, and finally ask your heart what it needs.
* If you are experiencing low self-esteem, ask yourself why this is. If your answers involve past experiences or other people, be willing to release them and the past. Feel as much forgiveness as you can and simply let the past all go and make an agreement to start with a fresh slate today. Choose how you want to feel about yourself and just feel it.
* Remind yourself each day that you are enough. There is nothing to prove, there is no race to win and there are no measurements being taken. Sit in stillness, with your eyes closed and feel the bigness of who you really are beyond your actions, thoughts and emotions. Tune into the essence of your being and the joy that emanates from within you.