This article was written by Geoff Ayi-Bonte, registered clinical counsellor who can be contacted at www.betterbalance.ca
Have you ever felt that you have too much on your plate and that the constant demands from others are making your life very difficult? This could refer to the demands of your family, your partner, your children, your friends, your boss, your employees, your co-workers, and anyone else. You are not alone, because there are many others like you who also suffer and likely feel just as fed up and overwhelmed. Life is too short to try to please everyone at your expense. It is not only impossible, but also not worth it. Some of the resulting health risks include back pain and headaches, fatigue, anxiety, depression, addiction, and even suicidality.
There are many helpful skills, but I will talk about the two most important ones, only.
1) Understanding the cycle of guilt and sacrifice. Here is how you know that you are in this cycle: you will constantly find yourself giving much more than you are receiving, getting little to no gratitude, and feeling lonely and misunderstood, yet you feel obligated to do what others want so that you don't risk losing their "approval". If this applies for you, your emotional and physical life is under siege and thus at risk.
None of this recognition will matter, if you overlook the next point:
2) Deciding that today is the day to be done with that drama! This will NOT ask of you to know the "how to" part. All it asks of you is to decide to be fed up with that life style and ready for freedom and a much easier life. You may likely find many reasons why you should stay stuck. They may have to do with "comfort" and "familiarity". Please realize the first step is usually the most difficult, because you are often changing years of habits. Despite and because of that, it is time to free yourself from those burdens. If you need support, know that you have an ally in me. Until next time, be strong and take care.